It is that time of year again where armchair fashionistas everywhere put on their best tiaras and tune into the Superbowl of red carpet events…The Oscarʼs.  Among the “fashion fumbles” detected on the Red Carpet Sunday night, by international fashion stylists Ruth and Sara Levy, were Meryl Streepʼs unusual golden get-up, Viola Davis’ sqwoobs (squished boobs) and Emma Stone’s suicide strangling by satin bow.

The theme of this year’s Oscar fashions seemed to be ‘White Wedding’. In fact, eight out of the ten celebs below looked like they’d been plucked straight from a wedding chapel.  Whether they resembled the bride, bridesmaid or mother of the bride, some where white hot, while some were definitely not…

According to the twins, “It was no honeymoon for Rooney Mara with her ‘flying nun’ inspired bodice.  This dress gave wings to her breasts and apparently they flew away.  The neckline plunged so deeply, if she’d had more real estate on top this would have been an F.C.C. television fine waiting to happen.”

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“Milla Jovovich, was radiant for her virgin voyage down the Academy Awards presenter’s aisle.  From head to toe she was a vision in white.”

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“Meryl Streep looked like she was with the band in her voluminous, Liberace-inspired gold gown.  Apparently she wasn’t aware that it’s the Oscar statuette who should have a metallic finish – not the nominee.”

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“Guiliana Rancic won’t be arrested by the Fashion Police for this great gown.  She did Joan Rivers proud.  The proportions of this dress are perfect.  From the flattering depth of the neckline to the flare of her skirt – which should always start above the knee, she exemplified true Hollywood style.”

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“Shailene Woodley looks like a Mayflower mail-order bride.  Guess she had plenty of time on the boat ride over to add the finishing crochet touches to her frock.  All that’s missing for this Pilgrim is a pair of black boots with square gold buckles.”

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“Octavia Spencer was the belle of the ball in her white beaded gown. We love Octavia because she proves what we always tell our clients – you don’t have to be model thin to dress beautifully, you just need to know what works for you and your proportions.”

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“Kristin Wiig… always a bridesmaid, never a bride.  Her drab dress is the color of New York snow and resembles a used Swiffer.”  It looks like a Project Runway mishap.  In fact, if you listen hard, you can hear Heidi Klum and Tim Gunn screaming as they run from the room.”

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“In a perfect world we would have loved some beautiful Harry Winston’s dangling from Gweneth Paltrow’s ears, but otherwise she looked elegant and statuesque in her Tom Ford creation.”

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“Viola Davis should have won Best Supported Actress with this neckline. Looking at her dress we felt like we were having a staring contest with her ‘girlfriends’.   Remember, the first thing a well designed dress should showcases is you – and not just your cleavage. In any case, thank goodness for double-sided tape.”

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“And of course no wedding is complete without a crazy cousin, played here by Kelly Osbourne with her pink hair and lips.  It’s sure to ruin the family photos.”

That’s all for this year’s Oscar Review!  If you’re planning a wedding, you now know what to wear and hopefully what to do with that crazy cousin (photoshop).

xoThe Twins

www.TheFashionCode.com

6 Fall Trends That Pack on The Pounds…


Maybe you saw The Fashion Code on NBC this month helping our client shed 20 virtual pounds – in a matter of minutes and without leaving her closet… (If not, check out this video below)…

The Fashion Code on NBC
Check out The Fashion Code on NBC!

Of course, everyone wants to know what the secret is behind looking like they subsist on celery sticks and they go to the gym 3 hours a day  – even if  in reality the most exercise they get is going through the McDonalds drive-thru. Surprisingly, A HUGE  part of looking thin has as much to do with what you put ON your body as what you put in it. Unfortunately, there is a whole lot of misinformation as to which clothing makes us look our best and which clothing makes us look “fat”. Through no fault of our own, a lot of us are still living in the dark ages when it comes to something as simple as knowing which clothes make us look sleek and stylish and which clothes make us look corn-fed.  Its enough to make a grown woman lose all reason and consult the fashion magazines for help  – which is where things can really go amiss…

Don’t get us wrong, magazines can be fun to look at.  Yeah…sure, its all fun and games until someone innocently starts following the trends and comes out of their closet looking like a super-sized version of themselves. But seriously,  WHY DO SOME CLOTHES MAKE US LOOK SIZES BIGGER AND ANYTHING BUT STYLISH – even though the models wearing these styles look like new and improved versions of Kate Moss?

This may come as a surprise to many women, but unless you are 6 feet tall and a poster child for anorexia you should avoid most trends like non-sale days at Bloomies.

Those of you who follow us might say,  “Hey, the twins are all about proportion and style, not trend-bashing”. But unless you share a model’s figure, many trends can skew your proportions so badly – the end result is a virtual weight gain to make even those who know and love you wonder where you’ve been hiding the Oreos.

Case in point, our client, who is an interior designer, wanted to “update her look” so she embraced six of the hottest trends this Fall. As you can see in the “Before” photo below, her outfit didn’t exactly sizzle. Her basic look wasn’t bad, and we understood what she was going for.  So we simply showed her the error of her trendy ways and how she could save herself a trip to the store (and the subsequent bill) and instead look like she spent a month at the spa.

The Fashion Code


TRANSFORMING  6  FRUMPIFYING FALL TRENDS INTO ONE FABULOUS OUTFIT…

1.  COWL NECKS:

 A cowl is not just a turtle neck style reject from the 80’s. It was originally associated with the large loose hood of a monk’s habit or a cloak worn by members of Benedictine orders. Now, while we’re sure that the monks were some happening dudes back in their day, they probably weren’t known for their fashion savvy. But interestingly, whether they were worn in the middle ages, the 1980’s, or in the new millenium, one thing remains the same – cowl necks have the almost magical ability to swallow the wearer’s neck and make their upper bodies look positively box-like. Great look for a chaste monk, but definitely not a sexy look for the modern day woman. Notice instead how the deeper cut neckline in the “After” photo turns our client’s body from a beer can (or a mug of ale-for the monks) into a shapely wine glass? A woman needs to have an uber-long neck and body as well as a chest as flat as a board (like the figure you’d find on say – a model) to pull off this over-sized medieval neckline gone wrong.

2.  CHUNKY JEWELRY:

Chunky jewelry has the same neck-swallowing upper body box-making qualities of a cowl neck. Instead, wearing a beautiful pendant necklace in proportion to both you and your outfit, V’s in the upper body – creating the same flattering effect as a deep neckline.

3.  OVERSIZED JACKETS:

 OVERSIZED ANYTHING = OVERSIZED YOU. Covering up in oversized garments is probably one of the biggest mistakes women make in an attempt to look thinner or more chic. The eye registers all that extra fabric as a lot of extra you – and not simply as an innocuous “boyfriend” or “box” jacket. The models who make these styles look great are extremely thin and actually need that extra fabric to look curvy and proportionate. (Hmmm, anyone noticing a pattern here?….)

4.  HOBO BAGS:

 Last we checked looking like a hobo wasn’t a real stylish thing. What’s next? Hobo perfume inspired by the enticing smell of unwashed clothes and half empty whiskey bottles? Hobo bags give added girth thru the middle of the body– filling in whatever waistline you have. Then again, if you are extremely thin a hobo bag could be a great look to get grandma off your back to eat more.

5.  OVERSIZED, WIDE-LEG PANTS:

As with oversized jackets, oversized pants = oversized legs. ALWAYS.

6.  SHOE BOOTIES:

The name alone brings to mind one of Santa’s helper’s. Believe us when we say- they will make your legs look like you’ve got something in common with his elves when you team them up with skirts or capris.  Notice how their high vamp gobbles up any spare skin and gives our client cankles (a deadly fashion condition where calves and ankles merge …) Low vamp shoes, as shown in the “After” photo, are always the way to go when wearing capris, skirts or dresses as they draw the eye down the full length of the leg. This elongates the leg – and a long leg is always a thinner, more stylish leg.)

Remember, styles and trends aren’t created in a designer’s atelier anymore. They are created in the boardroom. And the guy standing at the head of that boardroom table has to sell more clothing this season than he did the season before or he’s destined for Wallstreet’s version of Fashion Hell.  That’s not bad news, its just a heads up for the smart new fashionista on the block – YOU.  So, the next time you are perusing the fashion magazines and they tell you about the next must have trend, be sure to use your new-found fashion savvy before heading to the store. Your reflection in the mirror – and your pocketbook will thank you.