It was a day that started like any other. I woke up to a sun-filled room and looked over at my boyfriend Calvin who was still sleeping. I quietly walked to the shower to wash my hair with some shampoo I got in Paris last week. Just as I was getting a really good lather going, the phone rang. Darn! I forgot to call my agent about that Versace shoot tomorrow -that must be her, I thought. So I quickly jumped out of the shower and ran to the phone- with my hair still full of suds. Of course it was my agent and she talked my ear off for almost an hour! By the time I could throw a towel around me and make it back to the bathroom, my hair was in knots. In an effort to console myself, I threw on my favorite suit. But I swear that pizza from last night went straight to my hips….
So I decided to wear my fabulous new pants suit instead…. and of course, my new wonderbra. It really gives my chest a lift- especially after that unfortunate surgery…..
The doorbell rang and I ran to answer it.
Oh no! It was my two cousins from back home!
And if that wasn’t bad enough, they brought our wierdo cousin Karl from Germany with them. Bavaria must be a pretty tough place, I rarely see him without his brass knuckles.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! – THEY SHOUTED! That’s right! I had almost forgotten my own birthday party! So I slipped back to my closet to change into my party dress only to discover that the moths had gotten to it first. Oh well I thought, I’ll just tell everyone its the latest from Switzerland…..
The guests started arriving as I made my way out of the closet. Everyone was there…. Then I got the shock of my life. I saw with my very own eyes that the rumors going around the runway were true – Grover, everyone’s favorite muppet, was killed last week and used as a skirt….
…and the sad talk about Bambi turned out to be true as well…
There were also whispers that several other less successful animals had met a similar fate… So much for models against fur. My party was starting to resemble a petting zoo!
In an effort to lift everyone’s spirits, my friend Chan started to play his accordion.
Then things really got crazy………
I mean people were hanging from the chandeliers.
then we all heard screaming coming from the kitchen. Mellissa and Celeste were fighting about the cellophane diet….. Mellissa had apparently lost 2 pounds on it – and even though I thought she looked quite pale,
Pots and pans started flying… …the wok hit Sally…
and Celeste got two black eyes and the ice bucket dumped on her head.
Then my “holier than thou” neighbor came over and broke it all up……
But the crowd turned on her….and shredded her fashion “habit”…
…which, of course, ended my party and my rather tough day.
So you see, a day in the life of a model is not always as glamorous as it would seem. No, you’ve got to be careful out there – its a real jungle… Model friends at the Chanel show in Paris.
(Hey isn’t that wierdo cousin Karl on the right!?)